Over the weekend, while we all gasped, chuckled, cried, and wallowed in our pity while the Calgary Flames walloped the Edmonton Oilers, we learned a lot about an NHL team. Watching Taylor Hall slam a bottle on the ground while seated on the bench, and the chain reaction that took place following that moment in time, was an Oilers moment for the ages. Forget the great names hanging in the rafters, a suit got wet man, that’s serious business. Forget that the team is nestled comfortably near last place, I need a towel.
Taylor Hall and Dallas Eakins seemed to have a great relationship, probably still do. But I’m here to tell you, they may have stumbled across one of the greatest institutions of professional sports — a water bottle incident.
I give you “Great Moments In Recent Water Bottle Shenanigans”
We will start with the obvious one. Dustin Brown wrong-ends this Gatorade bottle. Still as fresh and unique as the day he internally tried to hide under the bench.
And, of course, Tie Domi. The glass-eyed snake charmer, and his wild and woolly penalty box fun. Anyone know what happened to this fan? I sure hope he struck a deal with Horizon Glass Installs. Gold, Jerry, Gold.
Moving on. Let’s take a brief detour here, and broaden things just a bit. Not only are water bottles to blame for crazy situations, but the whole Gatorade company. Dubinsky clearly isn’t a fan of traditional orange, perhaps he likes Riptide Rasberry?
Evander Kane is a magician. Or so this next image might have us think. Either he sold his soul, Delta Blues style, this is incredible video tweaking, or he’s just that good. I’m going with Delta Blues.
Remember that one time when the Maple Leafs were FA-REAKED on 24/7 because Todd Bertuzzi hit “their” water bottle? Good times, man, good times.
Sometimes, late at night, when I have trouble sleeping, I envision ways that hockey could incorporate a “flag” that the coaches can throw to the ice to alert them of things. Similar to the NFL. Little did we know…Marchand is a GENIUS!
One of the great things about water bottles is that they’ve not changed much in 1,000 years. You wanna know why ergonomic designs just don’t cut it? EXHIBIT A:
I pretty much love Ryan Getzlaf. You probably didn’t know this about me. I’m not sure if it’s the nasty wrist shot or the furrowed brow, any way you slice it, he’s a beast. But not as beastly as the fan that forced him to do this.
And finally, how about getting a ten minute misconduct for drinking an opposing goaltenders Gatorade. You have no idea where that thing has been, my man. To each his own.
In summation, Dallas Eakins and Taylor Hall, it could be worse. Your incident isn’t a first, just another story long line of incredibly great moments in hockey water bottle situations. Dry clean that suit. Refrain from slamming bottles to the earth. Let’s all learn to get along. Embrace the shenanigans.